Common words new age meanin

The new age meaning of few of the well chosen words. I am sure you are aware of some of the words used below.

DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills by pills,and kills you by his bills!

Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence Later

BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early

FATHER:
A banker provided by nature

MISER:
A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!

OPTIMIST:
A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"

DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip

EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their Mistakes

YAWN:
The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth

OFFICE:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life

SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!

CLASSIC:
A book which people praise, but never read

TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!

CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on

ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before

COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!

In my next post I will try to answer some of the common 2010 questions asked to me by either commenting or by mailing me. Hope it will be fun.